Where is Morgan Freeman when you need him?

Morgan Freeman is the überdude, he is always in the ”know”. In every movie he’s in he always portrays the elderly asexual wise guy, the almost omnipotent ”narrator” studying and commenting upon the other characters behavior or showing off life wisdom in a very sympathetic, non- authoritative way. Morgan Freeman really, really sees you, he hears you, Morgan Freeman is listening and contemplating every word you express, every move you make. We can trust Morgan Freeman, he’s always right. I trust Denzel Washington too, but the plot thickens just a little bit with Denzel because he’s so damn hot. He is the black man saving the world and after saving the world he comes home to your funkis-style fire lit apartment with a chilled bottle of cristal in his bloodstained bandaged hand….and…yes, he does things yo you that Morgan Freeman certainly wouldn’t do, because what Morgan would do is rather saying something like:

”Where I come from, we talk to our women. We do not drug them with plants.” (as Azeem in Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves)


”I fulfill my vows when I choose to.” (Also as Azeem)

And as Ellis Boyd ’Red’ Redding in Shawshank Redemption:

”Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.”

And when good Ol’ Morgie (as Red) says:

”I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”

– I just want to cry and hug him and make him my favorite old man to hang out with, play chess or domino with on the street corner, listening to his ancient-as-earth-wisdom everyday, I want him to say: Young girl, your´re on the right track…but don´t let the bed bugs bite!

Last time I passed a street corner my heart was ripped out of my body, not by an Alien nor the Predator, no, it was M. my lovely neighbor. He only said ”hi”, but for two painful seconds the world fell apart and I saw it: The End…Like Morgan Freeman stated in Feast of Love, explaining to his miserable friend who never figures out why (and never sees it coming) his women always leaves him: ”You can always see the end right there in the beginning”. Yep, Morgie, your dead right again. That´s why I despise you and think your movies suck big time. Come on, play the wise cop again! Or play the black, intelligent sidekick-character, let us all listen to your deep integrity-filled voice and scream: Morgan Freeman is God!